Life has taught me

Spring used to be the best holidays during my childhood. Ama would make “Ping” for me in Sallo trees. My dad had planted a lot of big trees then. I thought those Khayair , Sallo , Sisam were planted so that Ama could put ping on them. And I would pick the leaves of Lychee tree in our garden, put a little sugar and chew it and spit something that was red colored. Munu named it “Paan” and I had to agree with her as she was elder and a boss. Dad had planted a mango tree and a guava tree for each member in family. Ama’s guava tree used to be my favorite and I was an expert in climbing her tree exclusively. Sarita, Munu and I celebrated picnic beside the temple in our “Aagan” everyday and we played “Dhiki”. Firfire was our favorite sport. During holidays we spent our time under “Baas Jhayng” (Bamboo Tress) and ran crazily whenever we heard snake’s hiss. Our favorite spot of hanging was “Maccha Faram”. I enjoyed observing the freely moving colorful fishes in those small ponds. When Barsha was born, we had three peacocks in our home. And I would spend my day watching them dance as most of the time mom used to be with her. They were gone after few months. Don’t know who took them away. My days passed away running after “Tithra”, catching “Titlis”, searching “Putalis” and thinking about this all the time.

I am changed now. I haven’t stopped thinking but the things I think about has changed. I see people strange. They are rushing like me. Well, the issue of rush is same – ”Living”. And then I was not at all concerned about priorities, I would do whatever whenever I wanted. Now, I mark calendar for everything. Then I was worried about peacock that left me for no reason and now I worry about the people. I keep thinking why I am being ignored by someone whom I care, why things are complicated and how to mend it. I think about my career and every time there is next step that judges my skills of being better. I don’t enjoy festivals like before. I smile rarely and unconvincingly.

You know, life has taught me a lot. Sarita is not going to be my friend forever. Friends are there but not forever. Everything should be done by you and no one is going to help you. With age, you realize people and promises come and go. Rarely few stay with you. You career is just a part of your life. There is the other world behind it – the world of happiness. This world is competition free, ignore-free, expectation-free and most of all ego-free. This world is just like the world I had in my childhood. And I need to create this world on my own. In the journey of creating this world, I feel I am changed.

Badal Pokharel

(October 20, 2016)

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